Looking Back, Looking Forward

Nine year old me wrote about wanting three things:

1. To have a best friend

2. To wear long skirts like a pioneer

3. To travel the world

It’s only now that I look back at that and see what I’ve been blessed with.

I always wanted a Diana Barry to my Anne of Green Gables. Someone to laugh with and cry with and tell all my secrets to. And today, well, I have a small number of these kindred spirits. I’m beyond grateful for these people. They are always there. We laugh and cry and share our secrets. We sass and joke and act like crazy people. But beyond all that… We pray, we fellowship, we get right down to what’s important. We share our hearts.

As for the dresses… Mom you were right, they aren’t very practical. But I’ve kept my love for vintage, and for dresses, and now I’m a bit more 1960s as opposed to 1860s.

My dream to travel the world has come true. God has led me through 12 different countries in the past 5 months and here I am, about to leave my home country again for something new. Long story short, I don’t want to go… I want to stay home, with my people. But I have to go, cause God needs me to. It’s not time for me to be back here yet.

You know how we always talk about going back in time and giving our younger selves a piece of advice? Well I would go back in time, but not to give advice, but to take it. I’d take advice from nine-year-old me, the girl so full of romantic notions nothing could ever go wrong. The girl with excitement and joy to no end. She’d remind me how she was stuck on a farm, in the middle of nowhere, with her family… She’d remind me to live like every day was a miracle.

I might have a few things to say to her too…

By Kristina Fedorov

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